Some of you might know already about my personal weight-loss transformation, and some of you might not. The Foodie-ness blog is a product of my personal transformation and the current journey towards health that’s still work in progress.. Today I’m talking about my personal story, emotions and struggles. I hope it will turn out to be at least a little motivation boost, piece of inspiration or form of support to you 🙂
WARNING: long & emotional story!
Once upon a time..
Younger girls all have their insecurities, but the Carolina in high school had a seriously real negative impact on my life, my health and my happiness. I’ve pushed my unhealthy lifestyle and overweight to the max, until that moment! That painful moment that the mirror tells you it’s already too late..
A couple of years ago I was very insecure, had no perseverance, strength and a bad self-esteem. In stead of doing something against it and fight the overweight, I only made it worse, and worse, and worse.. I started eating more, gained more weight, had to buy new and bigger clothes again and felt like hiding myself in the dark.
Sometimes you have to reach rock bottom before you are ready to come back up. I’ve told myself to change my lifestyle and beat the overweight so many times, but all it brought me was another failure. I felt worse and worse each day, until I finally hit the point where I needed to make a decision.
In high school my girl friends wanted to book a summer holiday together. Sounds like fun right? All I could think of was walking around in a bikini between all these skinny beautiful girls for a whole week. NO, thanks! Or..?
I wasn’t gonna miss out on this opportunity, all because of my lack of discipline and strength. We booked the summer vacay and I turned this trip into a goal: being fit by then!
The first steps..
The first step is always the hardest because it’s the scariest. It’s the one that actually signifies change – and change is scary if you ask me. I had absolutely no knowledge of health at all and in particular not around eating healthy. However, I was smart enough to think that eating so much sugar and junk food wasn’t how Nicole Richie lost her overweight too. Immediately I cut out all the bad and unhealthy food and drinks. My main meals (breakfast, lunch and dinner) were always good enough, so I continued to eat it like that. By only skipping all the hundred snacks a day (in between meals, in between class, while waiting for my train to arrive, especially before bed time, etc.) I lost weight so fast! WOW! Was this really happening?
Positive results fuel your will-power
I can remember these changes as if they have happened yesterday. After all these years of pain, suffering, stress and disappointment there was light at the end of the tunnel! It has been so long that I felt truly happy, that I walked around with a real smile, that I dared to talk in a group of people, that I stopped hiding and that I felt like dressing up nicely.
I wanted more!
During my Foodie-ness Masterclasses, I always tell girls that it gets easier once you experience the first positive changes. It’s crazy, but after losing the first weight I felt that I wanted more and that I was able to do it! No more excuses for Carolina, “I got this”!
During that time there wasn’t even Instagram yet, fit girl e-books or online healthy eating programs to join. I literally had to found out myself. I jumped into the school library, went to health shops in the city and asked them for help, wrote everything down in my diary and found it out by trial-and-error. I feel like I’ve tried it all! Some things did work for me, others didn’t. Along the way I learned about the functionality of food for my body, because losing weight is a personal matter.
Oh boy, do I really have to go to the gym?
It’s amazing how much you can achieve by obtaining and maintaining a proper healthy lifestyle. However, I got stuck and came to the point where I had to think about working out too. Oh boy, gymlife? Really? #notexcitedatall.
My roommate and I both got single and we felt like that was the perfect timing to work on ourselves. We booked a personal trainer, (and split bills, yeah!) and for the first time in my life I have heard about the word: “squats”. After weeks of resistance, it happened again. I started to feel and see the positive changes that working out had to my body. And again I got a will-power-motivation-strength-discipline-i-got-this boost! “When is our next training and should we maybe workout more often per week?” :p
Where am I now?
I wanted to tell you (still in a nutshell) how I got to the point where I am today. So where am I now?
Ever since I started my weight loss journey, I’ve lost 15kg and I’m still obtaining this weight. I’ve dealt with being overweight, orthorexia (click here to read about my eating disorder) and believe I’m now in the best state of mind and body. Though I’ve got to admit that I still have to deal with my food addiction on a daily base. Same for weight-loss struggles and that (sometimes) “forced feeling” of wanting to workout and compensate bad behavior.
I’m in so much more control now and looking back at where I came from still gives me the power, motivation and strength to be happy, satisfied and able of achieving anything. However, I do wonder now and if then there will ever be a “new normal” in which I do not have to think about making the best decisions every single day?
Foodie-ness, my baby!
To me Foodie-ness is more than a blog. Foodie-ness daily motivates me to keep on sharing my journey and searching towards health, with all its rise and fall. The engagement with you girls really gives me the feeling that we’re all the same and we’re doing it together.
I used to be afraid of talking about my personal feelings, weaknesses and fears. However, I hope by being an open book here on the Foodie-ness blog to you, I can give each one of you a little motivation boost, piece of inspiration and form of support.
Never forget: if I can do it, YOU CAN DO IT TOO!
Thank you for reading my story and feel free to get in touch with me if there’s something on your mind after reading this. Don’t hesitate!
VIDEO: I’ve teamed up with my gym (SportCity) to share my story on video too, in order to reach a broader public and help more people. Do you want to hear me talking about this topic on camera?
Click here to watch it on YouTube and find out more about the SportCity #voeljegoed campaign.